Monday, April 27, 2009

Is your life cluttered?

The first week of Spring was beautiful in Cincinnati! Temperatures in the 70s and lovely sunshine every day. Then we were jarred back to normal March and April weather. Oh well, it was great to get that preview of coming attractions! It was just long enough to inspire me to do a little Spring cleaning.

Just as we sometimes get busy and allow clutter to accumulate in our homes, we also can find ourselves with clutter in our lives. I’m talking about those bad habits and things you’re trying to forget. It might be physical weight that you’ve gained or emotional weight. Whether it’s feeling guilty, anger at a friend, relative or boss, things you do only because you think you should, a mess in your house, extra weight you can’t lose or a project you just can’t seem to finish or start - it’s cluttering your mind and draining your energy.


Here are some suggestions for clearing out the clutter in your life:

Acknowledge your life clutter
Until you acknowledge these issues, you’ll spend a lot of energy trying to avoid them. This can be draining and overwhelming – like trying to hold a beach ball under the water. And like that beach ball, it will slip out in other ways. It can exhaust you, frustrate you and cause stress in your relationships, your job or your life.

Create a goal
Decide what you want to do about the clutter. If you’re holding on to anger, can you decide to forgive and let go? It takes a lot of energy to keep than anger alive and it’s only hurting you. If you’re spending time doing things only because you think you should, can you find the strength to stop doing them? You could probably spend the time on something else on your list that you would rather do.

Take the first small step toward that goal
We’ve all heard that riddle asking how you eat an elephant – one bite at a time. The same goes for that goal.
  • You don’t have to clear all the clutter at once. Just take half an hour and see what you can get done.
  • The same goes for those projects you can’t seem to finish (or start). Try to find the smallest thing you can do to begin your momentum.
  • If you want to get off the merry-go-round of activities you’re doing just because you think you should, try saying “Let me think about it” the next time someone asks you to volunteer or help with something you don’t really want to do.
  • To start losing weight, ask yourself what is one small thing that I can change?
  • If you’re angry with someone, take a break from being angry just for one day and see how it feels. You can go back to being angry tomorrow if you really feel you’re not ready to let go.

Then take the next small step
Once you’ve taken that first small step, ask yourself “when can I take the next small step?” This keeps the goal from appearing to be so overwhelming that it’s paralyzing and gives you a sense of accomplishment. Remember – just one bite at a time!

Just as Spring cleaning can make your house look and feel fresh again, letting go of that sense of overwhelm can give you energy and joy. You will feel better and who knows – you may look a few years younger too!

Let me help you with your life clutter!

Betsy
http://www.betsybaxter.com/
"Get a life you really, really, REALLY want!"

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Giving

Every day we have opportunities to give to others. Sometimes we give possessions, sometimes we give our time. A compliment or a smile costs nothing and takes little time. I really enjoy the moment when you catch someone’s eye and as you smile, you see the smile spread across their face. I feel especially blessed if I also see a momentary twinkle in their eyes! What a gift!

One of my favorite ways of giving is to volunteer. I began mentoring a woman while she was in a correctional facility. On my first visit she told me that no one had come to visit her in the last 6 months. I offered to visit her every week, even though my commitment was for twice a month. She was due to be released in 2 months and I thought it would give us a chance to get to know each other. We would sit in the library and talk about her past, mistakes she made and what she’s learned from them, and her dreams for the future. We laughed and cried. On our last visit before her release she thanked me for taking the time to visit her every week. She explained that it meant so much to her because when we were talking, she could pretend she wasn’t incarcerated. She didn’t have to keep up her guard, she could just relax and be.

The funny thing is, I didn’t think I would be able to make a difference in her life until she was released. But I was giving her a gift just by visiting her and her gratitude was a HUGE and unexpected gift to me.

I also volunteer at my church’s Healing Center. I meet with new guests, who are mainly the working poor, and offer them caring support, food, clothing and referrals to agencies that may be able to help with programs or a job. I recently spoke with a woman who had come to take advantage of our free income tax service. She was hoping that she was getting a big refund so she could pay some bills. But to her dismay, they told her that she actually had to pay a few dollars. She had a knee replacement a few months ago and her disability claim had been refused. She was unable to work until her doctor released her, so she was in a real bind; no income and no savings to pay her monthly bills. She had always been the one that her daughters and friends came to for help. She lived by the scripture “It is better to give than receive”.

Despite the fact that she was in danger of being evicted and had no money for food, she could not take the food we offered. Having always worked and supported herself, she only knew how to give; she had no idea how to receive. I asked her to remember how wonderful she feels when she gives to others. Then I suggested that by not allowing others to give to her when she needed help, she was denying them that same good feeling.

I believe that we are here to help each other. That means that sometimes you are the giver and sometimes you are the receiver. But no matter which role you play, everybody wins.

Betsy
http://www.betsybaxter.com/
"Get a life you really, really, REALLY want!